40186

Joke of the Day

"I wake up easy most of the time, but every now and then, I wake up hard."

"Two six year olds are walking to school Boy: this morning, my daddy found two used condoms in our patio. Girl : what's a patio ?"

"How do Asian women test for pregnancy? Put a Rubik's Cube in the vagina for exactly one minute and see if it comes out solved."

"Blind people think women's tennis is porn."

"How do you tell when a girl really wants you? When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse."

"I found an alternative to Pokemon GO. It's this new game called Grindr. I haven't tried it yet, but I hear its this thing where you go around, trying to capture bears."

"What did one fetus say to the other? Guess we're wombmates!"

"A one-liner based on what happened to me at work. An insect landed in my beverage, now I'm feeling a bit fly-tea."

"Kill the man Cop: ""Did you kill this man?"" Me: ""No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."""

"What does a Miami Heat fan do when his team wins the NBA Finals? He turns off the video game system."