39794

Joke of the Day

"Do they have a shitty attitude because they work for minimum wage, or work for minimum wage because they have a shitty attitude?"

"The other day I sold someone a stale fish, next day he came to my store and said ""you selfish"" and left... now I am not sure if I should have replied ""yes"" or ""sorry""."

"It doesn't matter how hard you think you are. When a toddler hands you their ringing toy cell phone, you'll still answer it."

"This is probably a controversial take but I think the sanitation worker responsible for garbage collection on Sesame Street should be fired."

"If by speaking Spanish you mean speaking in English but slower and louder, then yes, I speak Spanish."

"The show Hoarders is like a snooze button for cleaning your house, ""My place isn't that bad, I can go another week"""

"So Aaron Hernandez is going to prison... He's going in a tight end, and coming out a wide receiver."

"The blind hooker helped me a lot with my allergies She blew my nose"

"What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question and a joke?"

"How did the hipster burn his mouth? HE drank coffee before it was cool, man"