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Joke of the Day

"With a face like that, I think it's a safe to say, life's been handing Renee Zellweger lemons for quite some time."

"Hmmph! I've been trapped at my desk at work plenty of times and no one ever comes to rescue me."

"Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry? Because it's always on a sundae!"

"Birthdays.... ... are good for health. Studied have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer"

"A father walks in on his son... A father walks in on his son masturbating. The father says, ""Son, If you keep masturbating you'll go blind!"" The son replies, ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"Chess says everything about men and women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants."

"What's the most insensitive nickname you can give a person with diabetes? Sweet Pee"

"- Do you have photos of your girlfriend naked? -No. - Do you want some?"

"""Oh snap!"" - branches"

"When my dad caught me smoking a cigarette he took me out to the shed and forced me to teach him how to be hella cool."