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Joke of the Day

"Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it."

"My wife said I lack empathy I don't understand how she could feel that way."

"Arnold's is long and hard.. The president's is very short, Madonna doesn't have one, and the Pope has one, but he doesn't use it."

"The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He'll never wok again."

"The difference between a tire and a black man... A tire doesnt start to rap when you put chains on it."

"Why did the Jews hate Jesus? Because he gave away salvation for free."

"Scientist: a rat will choose cocaine over water until it dies. I've repeated this experiment thousands of times, because I hate rats so much"

"A man only buys water from a dancer. His son notices this and after a while he asks him, ""Why do you only buy water from that dancer?"" ""Because,"" the father said with a grin, ""I enjoy *tap* water!"""

"What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A Space Invader. "

"Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping."