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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an apple and a baby? I don't cum on an apple before i eat it."

"What do you call 500 Natives running on the race track? The Indy 500."

"Two women are sitting together quietly . . ."

"I just drove in from a Transformers convention... ... and boy, are my arms tires!"

"""You a cop?"" UNDERCOVER COP: No. ""So you wouldn't mind if I ... threw these donuts away?"" UC: *sweats profusely*"

"Husband, Wife and Doctor Joke Doctor: Your husband needs a proper rest. Here are some sleeping tablets. Woman: When will he have these? Doctor: It's for you, not for him."

"Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan? Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them."

"I accidentally swallowed a lot of food coloring this morning. I dyed a little inside."

"""Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses"" -I remind myself as I flirt with the fire extinguisher I've mistaken for a cute guy"

"Snatch, twat, fanny, cunt, pussy, box, split-arse, and of course vagina. Just a few of the names I have given to my cats."