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Joke of the Day

"Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a ""Do you like me: Yes or no?"" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends."

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"2 fish. there are 2 fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says, ""How the fuck do you drive this thing?"""
"What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? Glue."
"What is Dracula's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines."
"Bee: I got a stinger bro! Dung beetle: Nice! [enters gods office] Sorry I'm late. Whats my special power? God: [clearly annoyed] Eating shit"
"A history professor was given a boring lecture about Russian dictators Finally, an exasperated student exclaimed,""stop, you're putin me to sleep"""
"The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. The police charged one and let the other one off."
"Yo mama so ugly that not even goldfish crackers smile back"
"What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? The prostitute will stop screwing you when you die."