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Joke of the Day

"I wish I was Jewish Every time somebody farted I could say: ""Are you a Nazi? Because you just gassed a Jew."""

"Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*"

"Why are ghosts always dehydrated? They have a lot of boos but no water"

"Saw a new machine at the gym, but could only use it for 20mins before it made me sick It was great... it had M&M's, Skittles, you name it!"

"If your phone gets wet put it in dry rice... at night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronic device for cheap..."

"So, I was working on my truck today.. And the brake cleaner started to get me high I forgot what I was doing. So, I was working on my truck today..."

"The ratio of guys to girls in my friend group Is undefined!"

"I learned how to count cards so I could hustle idiot 4 year olds out of their juice box when we play Go Fish"

"A car pool is an extravagant waste of water."

"Why couldn't the snake have sex Ereptile dysfunction"