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Joke of the Day

"I'm convinced that people are now just getting married and having babies to have something to post on FB"

"I hate niggers"

"Said I'd buy my son some stuffing for his pillow. He wanted to come with me. Then his sister did too So now I'm getting down with the kids."

"My resolution for the new year is... 1080p"

"Most people can't drink coffee then go to sleep. I'm just the opposite. . . I can't go to sleep and then drink coffee. God, that was stupid."

"If you catch Chuck Norris sleeping he will grant you one wish.... if your wish is dying."

"They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a mile away. Seems a bit far fetched to me."

"Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :("

"I can't sleep; so I went out & got 2 donuts, glued them to my eyes, climbed up a tree & pretended I'm an owl."

"Ahhh, Christmastime... Is my favorite time of year. It's the only time of the year that my wife isn't griping at me to take down the Christmas lights."