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Joke of the Day

"Luis Suarez has confessed he had planned on biting Wayne Rooney. However,he also said he doesn't like the taste of shit."

"I thought my roommate was a good person but he just threw away a box of unfinished Wendy's chicken nuggets."

"If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet."

"Whenever I drink whiskey, I turn into Kermit the Frog. I start talking funny, I turn green, and then I end up fucking a fat pig"

"If I owned a moving company, I'd call it 'Van Gogh.'"

"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats. Edit: Omg guys! I didn't expect this to take off this much, thanks guys!"

"I was accused of sexual harassment But I couldn't of. Because her ass meant nothing to me."

"Birthday Every year on his birthday, Chuck Norris selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun"

"This hotel has the worst mini-bar. All the little bottles of booze taste like shampoo."

"How do you stop a deaf women from telling anyone you raped her How"