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Joke of the Day
"How do pirates know that they exist? They think, therefore they arrrr"
Next Joke
"I like my upvotes like I like my women. .. One at a time and not very often."
"I'll be serving Eggs Benedict on hubcaps for Christmas breakfast. Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."
"I hate people who talk about me behind my back... They discussed me."
"What is it called when a Jewish woman ovulates? An Eggsodus."
"Just found some clothes my ex left here. Perfect timing since I'm out of toilet paper."
"Imagine if every Sunday all your friends decided to only speak in a foreign language. That's how I feel during football season."
"What do cats listen to during their free time? they listen to podcats."
"I JUST CONSUMED SO MUCH SUGAR THAT I FEEL ALL SHOUTY IN MY HEAD AND CAPS LOCKY AND HOLY CRAP HOW DO PEOPLE DO ACTUAL DRUGS"
"When I was born I was given the choice between a big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose."