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Joke of the Day

"I thought I had a brain tumor but then I realized it was all in my head."

"What do wives and shingles have in common? if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's."

"Sex between 3 people is a threesome, 2 is a twosome... Does that make me a handsome guy?"

"I just ate a watch... ... It was time consuming. I'm thinking of going for seconds."

"I keep getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia. Which is the one about being in a closet?"

"A scientist walked into a room that was -273C Don't worry though, he was 0K"

"I bet a heroin addict could find a needle in a haystack."

"Have you seen the photo of me and REM? That's me in the corner."

"If you dont sin, Jesus died for nothing!"

"Feeling strange Mr. Bond? It's because I laced your Martini with a vaccine for Measles You now have Autism!"