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Joke of the Day
"What did the guitar teacher say to the frustrated student? Now, don't fret about it!"
Next Joke
"Why was the ground all white after Custer's last stand ? The Indians just kept coming and coming"
"What does a stegosaurus eat off of? His plates. -Jude; My five-year-old son"
"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."
"Solution to world hunger: food. Boom, done, next problem."
"A woman is on trial For beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says,'First offender?' She says, 'No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!'''"
"What do read heads get when they don't brush their teeth? Gingervitis Edit: redheads. I am a disgrace."
"According to my neighbor's journal, I have ""boundary isues."""
"3YO: ""How do babies get out of bellies?"" ME: ""Look! Ice cream!"" *5 min later* 3YO [COVERED IN ICE CREAM]: ""How do babies get out of be---"""
"[at dinner party] Me: Excuse me, a bit of an announcement.. Jenny and I are expecting a kid. She is 4 months pregnant. Vegan: I'm vegan"