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Joke of the Day

"So what I want to open a comedy club called Terri Yets pub... Everyone that lives there has Tourette's syndrome."

"Burn victims never travel alone They always stick together"

"My girlfriend accused me of cheating First it was my wife and now her..."

"If simply wrinkling my nose at your smell is politer than spraying you head to foot with Febreze then so be it. Not happy but so be it."

"*changes voicemail recording to ""your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again"

"Kevin Spacey once agreed to do a low-budget movie with a badly-written two-dimensional character... ...on the condition that he be credited in the cast as ""Kevin Planey."""

"What did the boy monkey say to the girl monkey? You're a prime mate!"

"Today I went to a zoo. It was empty except for a dog. It was a shih tzu."

"This day is medieval... Because it's a dragon."

"A blonde, brunette, and redhead are in the ninth grade; which one is the sexiest? The blonde, because she is the only one that's 18."