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Joke of the Day

"Two cows walk into a vegan bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."""

"Eskimo What does an Eskimo girl say before she is about to lose her virginity? ""Careful Dad, don't squish my smokes."""

"Black people don't have inside voices, they only have ""I want to make sure everyone fucking hears this"" voices."

"I came home to my girlfriend packing her bags. What are you doing? -I'm leaving you. I heard you're a pedophile! That's a pretty big word for a seven year old."

"If Jesus appears to you... Ask him to bevel-cut a jack rafter onto a door header. If he doesn't know what you mean, that's an imposter Jesus."

"My phone changed 'loud' to 'logs' so I ""laughed out logs"" at a friend's joke. I mean, I did poop a little, BUT HOW DID MY PHONE KNOW?"

"What's Pao's favorite Chinese dish? Infant children."

"I've got a good knock-knock joke, but you have to start"

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too! Hey Reddit! What is your favorite Mitch Hedburg joke?"

"I got into an accident a few days ago. The doctor said the bleeding was all internal. I said ""oh, thank god."" The doctor said ""why are you so happy?"" I said ""that's where the blood is supposed to be!"""