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Joke of the Day

"If a man with no arms has a gun, is he armed?"

"Just now, from my dad: Have you heard the new Christmas carol from India? We Vishnu a Merry Krishnas."

"If God really made Eve from Adam's rib bone. Then women are really men and we're all gay. Discuss."

"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and Scotsman? The Rolling Stones say ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud."" A Scotsman says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe."""

"A short one for classical musicians I once owned a frying pan that once belonged to the great Leopold Stokowski. It was non-stick."

"I was loving the song with the great beat in the lunchroom at work today when I realized it was the dishwasher running. It's great to be me."

"Long John Silver's is the perfect representation of corporate greed. Nearly everything that company does is selfish."

"I just signed a deal with my liquor store that when I die I'll be stuffed in the Capt. Morgan pose and displayed inside their store."

"Today is Compliment Someone Randomly Day. And may I just say that this paper bag would go beautifully with that outfit you're wearing."

"Two jumper cables walk into a bar.. The bartender says ""I'm gonna serve you guys, but you have to promise not to start something""."