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Joke of the Day

"My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today ""what poison would kill someone the fastest?"" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her."

"My grandma told me her joints are getting weaker, so I told her to roll them tighter."

"FRIEND: Do you want to go [i don't hear the rest because i'm already sighing too loudly]"

"Kim Kardashian's starts a new political party, and names it Popular Back"

"I screamed a Brazilian times during that waxing."

"Knock KNOCK Who's there? Orange Orange who? ORANGE YOU HAPPY I DIDN'T SAY ORANGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v v TLDR I'm dead on the inside"

"Sorry, but the greatest thing since sliced bread is sandwiches. Period."

"Where do gay midgets come out from? The cabinet."

"Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers."

"Why is it called 'Your Bowels' and not 'Your Instinks'"