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Joke of the Day

"Your momma is so ugly that Scorpion says ""Get away from me"""

"How long do owls live? Six and a half books."

"My friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo I just had to put my foot down."

"Bad News I heard that the Italian Government is joining forces with ISIS thus changing their name to Italian ISIS Tommy G"

"What's the difference between pizza and a jew? Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"Want to take a look at my benefit package?"

"A Mexican Magician... A Mexican magician says he will dissappear on the count of three. Uno... Dos... *poof* He's disappeared... Without a tres."

"Tried my hand at this whole 'cougar' business but I just don't like the taste of hikers. It's possible I read the wrong Wikipedia page."

"Q: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: No eye deer (No idea) Q: What do you call a quadriplegic deer with no eyes? A: Still, no eye deer. (Still no idea)"

"Why was the cake afraid of mobsters? He knew they were going to ice him."