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Joke of the Day

"Before going to your partner's parents' house for the 1st time, it's very important to ask ""How much Jesus stuff can I expect to see?"""

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on in my mouth"

"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts off by saying, ""A man once told me...."""

"Oscar Pistorius says he won't be entering other races until the trial is over. I think in prison he'll have to worry more about other races entering him."

"Osama was found hiding in mansion in Abbottabad. Talk abbot-a-bad place to try and hide..."

"Drunk texts are only fun if you're the one sending them. With that said, I'm having a blast right now."

"What do the Green Bay Packers and Monica Lewinsky have in common? Clinton Dix, haha."

"Why did the monster dye her hair yellow? To see if blondes have more fun."

"A duck walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Hey, your pants are down."""

"If you're an astronaut.. and you don't end every relationship with ""I need space"" then you're just wasting your time"