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Joke of the Day
"Why are successful people such assholes? They get shit done."
Next Joke
"Cinderella (2014) - A despotic prince with a foot fetish forces all female citizens of his kingdom to undergo mandatory DNA testing."
"I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West... ...could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone..."
"Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don't have & waste an entire day without having a life."
"Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me........ Wife: ""I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"" Husband: ""You have perfect eyesight."""
"Why was the algebra teacher arrested on drug charges? He was caught doing lines of math!"
"My job is like defeating a final boss in a video game: I spend hours doing it, and when I finally do, it doesn't matter to anyone else."
"I rather have an enemy who admits they hate me, instead of a friend who secretly put me down."
"Why was the teenage girl fired from her job at the casino? Because SHE JUST CAN'T DEAL"
"My girlfriend called me a racist I said that's an awfully big word for a midget."