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Joke of the Day

"GOD: Moses!! I COMMAND YOU TOcan you take your shoes off MOSES: What? Why G: I'm trying to keep the place nice, OK? M: It's a mountain"

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"Trying to think of a good chemistry pun But all the good ones argon"
"What do they eat on the set of a chick flick? Romcomnoms"
"How do you sink a Swedish submarine? Knock on the hatch."
"I don't trust insomniac philosophers... They're up to know good."
"What's the greatest gift you could give to a trashcan? A baby."
"""Doctor I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."" ""Next time take off the candles."""
"If I had a nickel for every GEICO commercial I've ever seen, I could buy us all car insurance."
"Where is the Pokemon? Peek-a-chu!"
"Hey guys, look! Original content made it on to ifunny!"