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Joke of the Day

"I like my apples how I like my penis... In cider."

"A man walks into a restaurant..."

"The 5 signs of laziness 1."

"I tripped over some stupid plant so I gave it the finger and walked in a circle around it because I wasn't sure where its stupid eyes were."

"Have you guys ever heard of the restaurant Five Guys? Because your girlfriend always like to go there for ""burgers."""

"I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder."

"What did the SJW say to the person who had just been blackmailed? At least you didn't get white maled."

"Chinese takeout Chinese food to go $15. Gas to go pick it up $1.50. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of my containers.... Riceless."

"ANIMALS IT'S OK TO KILL IN AFRICA 1. Mosquitoes 2. Terminally ill zebra who signed a DNR 3. The Nazi monkey from Raiders of the Lost Ark"

"I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but... I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but I couldn't Finnish."