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Joke of the Day

"So back in Gr.8 Science, class reading of a chapter in biology... The dyslexic girl had issues talking about the growth and creation of orgasms."

"Where's the best place to buy jive cheese? Monterey, Jack!"

"me: well I grew up without a dad and I turned out okay cw: don't u collect human teeth?? me: yeah but they're not my teeth"

"Lone crow arrested... ... For attempted murder"

"I think my cockney friend is obsessed with the desert. I asked him what he thought of my mixtape and he said, ""Sand's great."""

"Why is it that everyone hears the car alarm for a good 5 minutes before the owner does?"

"On a scale of 1-10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need"

"9/11 was hard for us European folk. I caught my foreskin on my zipper that day! It was dreadful, had me late for work. I'll certainly never forget the 9^th of November anytime soon."

"When a computer program says ""Not Responding"" I start texting it stuff like ""Who are you with?"" and ""Just heard our song"""

"Where's the safest place to keep a Man-eating toilet? The women's room."