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Joke of the Day
"I was gonna make a joke about my dog being a freak on a leash... But it was too korny"
Next Joke
"Red neck word of the day ""fitness"" I don't think there's any way we're ""fitness"" in the back a da truck"
"Fuck. I just mentioned that it was my birthday as a pickup line to this hot girl at the bar and her fat friend is now asking about cake."
"Twitter: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk dial the world?"
"Whats brown and sticky? a stick"
"Why did the Chicken cross the road? because 7 8 9 hahahaha"
"Everyone complains about the weather but noone's sacrificing a virgin to change it either."
"Getting a job right out of college... ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING: Hiring recent college grads. REQUIREMENTS: 5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and super powers."
"I had a detention for only using uppercase letters today Stupid capital punishment"
"People who unfollow me always seem startled when I show up at their home to conduct an exit interview"