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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: ""Your resume says you have a bad memory."" Me: ""I said that?"""

"Why did the Tour de France get raided? The police heard it was full of pedal-philes."

"Three nuns are sitting in the park... ...when a man comes up and flashes them. The first nun has a second stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third couldn't quite reach it."

"People act like weed is the worst thing for short-term memory. Go drink 15 beers and see if you can remember your name or how legs work."

"*bites nails* Sorry. Bad habit. I haven't been on a date in a while ""I can see why"" she says, pulling her fingers out of my mouth"

"I Can't Believe I Don't Get More Recognition For Being Really Modest"

"Q: How does a poor mans cube look like? A: It's a sphere."

"The heiress to the L'Oreal cosmetics empire has turn to prostitution to make ends meet, putting a $5 million price tag on her services for a single night. Which is fair enough, because she's worth it."

"Good cop: We got you red-handed! Weatherman cop: Well there's a 70% chance of guilt but I'd go ahead and make weekend plans"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snow balls."