35672

Joke of the Day

"I'm always on the guest list at Club Sandwich."

"Why do women forget if you call them beautiful 100 times but remember if you call them ugly once? Elephants have good memory"

"Pancake day has really crepe'd up on me this year."

"I was having trouble understanding the importance of the computer mouse... And then it clicked."

"Snotty bitch in the elevator was looking down her nose at me. So I had to ask her, ""Lady, can I smell your pussy?"" Indignantly, she said, ""No, you may not!"" ""Oh, well, then it must be your feet!"""

"Sexism wouldn't exist if it weren't for your women's opinions."

"What's the difference between a group of crafty midgets and a jogging club comprised exclusively of women? The former is a band of cunning runts..."

"What's that there? got you"

"I have a fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it."

"Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning."