35664

Joke of the Day

"Where's the middle of nowhere? It's three letters in. ""H""."

"God...= I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness."

"I don't understand why women programmers are mad when male programmers objectify their body.... After all, it is object oriented programming."

"[meeting to name the brownie] ""How about baked chocolate cake?"" ""Nah"" ""Yummy choccy bake?"" ""No"" Guy who named the orange: I have an idea..."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the little bitch's house."

"iTunes has it all wrong... ... the hottest single this year is me."

"Interviewer: why did you leave your last job? [flashback to me trying to sword fight all the customers at Toys R Us] Me: discrimination"

"I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS."

"What Cell Phone Company does Usain Bolt use? Sprint"

"[rap battle] *drops the mic* *scrambles around trying to pick up the mic* [20min earlier] *other guy covering my mic in butter*"