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Joke of the Day

"23. RT @Highlights: Parents, at what age do you think it's okay for a child to get his or her own cell phone?"

"The problem w marriage is communication. When I said I hoped he'd go down in a plane I meant more crash & burn, less on the flight attendant"

"What happens if you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."

"The Irish are really far behind with technology... Their bombs still have four wheels and a motor."

"Just changed the names of all the girls in my contact list to: ""Jake, from State Farm""."

"What do you call a cow masturbating? Beef stroganoff!"

"Actual advice Mallard in a recent interview denounced his internet fame. It was quite a pro duck shun."

"In June of last year, a beautiful woman on the subway saw me yawn & then she yawned. So I think we can cool it with the ""virgin"" talk."

"I will totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal, you unfrosted weirdo."

"I got some used paint In the shape of a house."