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Joke of the Day

"How do you know when a black chick is pregnant? When she pulls out her tampon and all of the cotton is missing.."

"I just had a wicked threesome on the kitchen floor. Me, Nyquil and Vodka. I'll be walking funny tomorrow!"

"What do you get with a room full of 32 Alabamans? A full set of teeth"

"Went to dinner with a recovering alcoholic vegan who just quit smoking. Everything entering or leaving my mouth was offensive #WorstDateEver"

"What do you sing at a twins bat mitzvah? Happy birthday two Jews"

"What the only tag a Tumblr user can't have? A small Oops looks like I pissed off the fatties"

"Joe is a such generous guy. Once he went out on the town and got two blowjobs. He came back and gave me one!"

"need a last minute valentine's day gift for that special lady? why not give her the timeless gift of my phone number"

"This chic on Facebook said she ran 17 miles yesterday. Where I live the police would have gave up after like, IDK, 6 miles maybe."