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Joke of the Day
"The TSA just announced they're banning erasers on flights. They're capable of math destruction."
Next Joke
"[press session regarding increase in shark bites] Reporter: Are there more attacks in one area? Scientist: [lips against mic] In the water"
"What's the difference between your dick and your money? I can find a lot of girls that'll blow your money."
"The Illuminati is the belief that the most powerful ppl on Earth are in a conspiracy to leave giant clues that they're part of a conspiracy."
"We often criticize pedophiles... but they, at least, drive slowly near schools."
"my chemistry always told me ""if you're not part of the solution..... then you're part of the precipitate"""
"Wish I had the unbridled enthusiasm of a freshly groomed dog heading straight for a mud puddle."
"I pulled the trigger on myself... now I'm triggered."
"A guy calls his boss and asks ""What's the difference between this morning and your wife?"" ""I'm not coming in *this morning*"""
"What do you call an atheist who no longer worships the Flying Spaghetti Monster? A-pasta-ate."