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Joke of the Day
"[job interview] ""Why should I hire you?"" ""Because I have pictures of you with a goat?"""
Next Joke
"My sex life lately has been like very fine jewelry 100% handmade"
"If you can start the toilet paper roll without clawing it like a velociraptor then you're a wizard."
"My brain made a vote today Seven against five decided that we did not have dissociative personality disorder. EDIT: so many edits, is it alright now?"
"I'm not surprised the Seahawks chose to pass... Lynch was only there so he wouldn't get fined."
"I remember... when I used to be really nostalgic. Those were the days."
"Yo mama is so fat.. When she goes to McDonalds and order 20 Burgers , 30 fries and 100 pieces of nuggets, they still ask her . ""Having here or take away? ""."
"Why are Atheists so resistant to video game cheats? They don't believe in godmode"
"UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP UNZIP - ZIP *looking for condom in my ""Beat It"" zipper jacket*"
"What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats."