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Joke of the Day

"I'm not surprised the Seahawks chose to pass... Lynch was only there so he wouldn't get fined."

"""Wife stabs husband with squirrel"" was on the news.. Does anyone know how to sharpen a Squirrel?"

"Why did Tony cross the road? To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, ""Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"""

"How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby... I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep."

"*Judge raises hammer* ""I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE"" -*defendant chuckles* ""I'm already alive you MORON!"""

"(NSFW) Why does Beyonce sing ""To the left, to the left""? Because niggers have no rights. or Option 2: Because women have no rights."

"I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and then I hit a stone wall."

"Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards !!!"

"Single? Give your sexual partner a Valentine's Day treat by having a manicure."

"What did the scientist who was conducting sexual experiments on dogs say to his partner? ""If you need me, I'll be in the lab."""