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Joke of the Day

"2014 Drivers Manual: ""When a signal turns green, honk once to indicate to the car in front of you that they need to lower their smartphone."""

"Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling"

"What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank!"

"What do you call a gay couch? A homo sectional."

"What do you call an Asian flying a plane? A pirate."

"If you could own the entirety of Bill Gates' fortune or solve world hunger,... what color would your Lamborghini be?"

"My grandpa used to say ""Don't do drugs just sell them"""

"What is the plural of y'all? -What is the plural of y'all? -Y'alls? -All y'all."

"Charlie Sheen hates..... Parisians even more than the IS does."

"When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!"