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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too."

"Is it just me, or do toasters have like 4 settings too many? They should have 1 setting that reads: ""Toast"""

"When Edison got the idea for the lightbulb, an oil lamp appeared over his head."

"I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony. I just imagined everyone with their clothes on."

"You matter Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared. Then you energy."

"How attractive are skeletons? They're drop dead gorgeous!"

"What was eating away at the computer's RAM storage? I don't know, but it was going at it one byte at a time."

"Would you like to go see a meteor shower? What are you some kind of pervert?!?"

"Eventually Adobe is going to release a software application that does nothing but update itself."

"What's the funniest part of a boxing joke? You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints..."