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Joke of the Day

"A Banana and a Vibrator are sitting on a bedside table the banana says ""I dont know why YOU'RE shaking, she's gonna fucking eat ME"""

"Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends? Because Saturday nights alright for freighting."

"When asked about whether or not Arnold Schwarzenegger upgraded to Windows 10... ...He replied ""I still love Vista, baby"""

"OC: What does Babe Ruth and roughly 100,000 antelopes have in common? They're both ballpark figures."

"It's no wonder Q: Why did Stevie Wonder step in the turd? A: Because he can't see shit."

"I put a message in an empty wine bottle and threw it in the ocean. It said, ""Please refill and return to sender."" Now I wait."

"Marriage is like a three ring circus. First you've got the engagement ring, then you've got the wedding ring, and then you've got the suffering."

"How do jellyfish live without brains They are blond"

"What does a cloud with an itchy rash do? Find the nearest skyscraper."

"A battery murdered another battery He was charged with murder and put in a duracell."