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Joke of the Day

"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going."

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 For shitty customer service in any language."

"The president of Nintendo has died. The ambulance went Wii U Wii U Wii U"

"What's the cheapest meat available? Deer testicles, it's under a buck."

"9 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date. Today I asked her to marry me She said no both times."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's the ""R"" but it's really the ""C"". Happy talk like a pirate day!"

"Girlfriends are like puzzles. The smaller ones are easier to beat"

"Why do men like to be on bottom during sex? Cause they only know how to fuck up."

"Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree."

"Did you hear the one about the JRPG character who named his daughter Dot? He called for her three times, but she she still didn't answer. ..."