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Joke of the Day
"""I wish my girlfriend sucked my dick the way she sucked the fun out of everything."" -Shakespeare"
Next Joke
"If you're Russian when you're running to the bathroom, and Finnish when you're leaving, what are you in between? European!"
"1st Date Me: Just warning you. I get freaky. Her: Oh yeah? How freaky.? Me:*thinking of using pizza rolls as a pizza topping* So freaky."
"How do you know if someone's vegan? Someone else will make a vegan joke, then when the vegan points out that non vegans refer to veganism more than vegans do, some jackass will say ""found the vegan"""
"[maybe NSFW] How can you tell that a porn star works at your local gas station? Right before he's done filling the tank he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the trunk of your car."
"Why is my Chinese girlfriend so bitchy? Well it's true, you are what you eat."
"Why was Hitler doomed to fail? because jew wrongs don't make a riech"
"What did the gay cow say just before sex? STICK IT IN MY ANGUS"
"Did you hear about the Power Plant that was bad for the environment all year? He got coal for Christmas."
"What did the buffalo say to his son who's leaving for college? Bison."