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Joke of the Day

"this 'donkey kong' aspires to humanity through the gesture of the necktie. yet it is the hoarding of his wealth that truly makes him human"

"After four years I finally had to buy condoms again. Stupid expiration dates."

"Three Guys Walk Into A Bar The fourth guy ducks."

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't. They just beat the room for being black."

"In bed my wife calls my Jimmy John's. I cum freaky fast."

"It's not that I need Anger Management, it's that others need Stupidity Management."

"[ORIGINAL] What's a priest's favorite cheese? Swiss. It's holey."

"I was flipping through the channels.... and my wife asked was on the TV. I said ""dust"" And that's how the fight started."

"What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company? A good in-vest-ment"

"What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom? The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!"