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Joke of the Day

"DIY - previous owners thought a bright red living room a good idea. 12 coats of heavy duty primer later... This Kilz the walls."

"Starting to reconsider the Supreme Court decision... what are these lesbian newlyweds going to do with all the sandwiches they make if they always eat out?"

"What did the apple tell the annoying orange? Citrus down."

"Murdered for immortality. Received life sentence."

"I ruined my health by drinking to everyone else's."

"What's the difference between a group of midget spies and a women's track team? One is a cunning group of runts."

"What is the difference between a dollar and a ruble ? A dollar."

"They say there is safety in numbers tell that to 6 million jews"

"It's hard to fall asleep because I don't trust myself to not die."

"I got stung by a bee the other day..... 15 for a jar of honey!"