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Joke of the Day
"Pink and wrinkly What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your boxer shorts? Your grandma."
Next Joke
"When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask ""Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?"" because you can never be too careful."
"PSA: If you're about to be arrested, climb to the roof of a nearby court. You are now 'above the law' & literally can't get in trouble ever"
"Girl, are you pre-Renaissance art? Because you need to get some perspective."
"My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her ""golden shower"" so goodnight."
"Her: Did you hear that eating curry can get rid of bad memories? Me: So I should take you out for Indian AFTER we have sex?"
"I wonder if clothes in China say ""made around the corner"""
"Well, it's Inauguration Day in America.... It's gonna be a great mourning."
"Yo mama so fat, when she went to Hogwarts for the first time, the sorting hat said ""Awwwwww hell 'naw!!"""
"I could never become a vetanarian. That job takes balls!"