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Joke of the Day

"gluten free cereal. I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it ""NO FUCKING WHEY!"""

"""As long as you append my name to a quote,... people would buy into it and take it seriously."" - Winston Churchill"

"Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years."

"There's a disturbing movie about an evil German lunatic who creates an ass-to-mouth chain of people who digest each other's shit. You know, that documentary about the Trump campaign."

"Predator taking off his mask, but it's me removing the filters from my selfies."

"Whats the difference between a retard and a woman? The retard doesn't need to be buggered to think he's special."

"I should marry my neighbor. She doesn't live with me, we never speak, and we see each other naked all the time."

"British jokes aren't funny anymore. They lack hEUmour."

"When I call out the wrong name during sex, I just segue into singing Mambo No. 5."

"My dad's favorite joke What did one testicle say to the other? Why'd they hang us.... Slim did all the shootin."