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Joke of the Day

"gluten free cereal. I want to make a gluten free cereal and name it ""NO FUCKING WHEY!"""

"Remember, you are statistically more likely to be killed by a donkey than a plane crash. [Donkey Pilot turns and does throat slit gesture]"

"What's the dirtiest language? Latin, its absolutely filled with *cum*."

"Knock knock Who's there? Dewt dew de dew dew Dewt dew do dew dew who? Menah Menah"

"Have you heard of nihilism? Its kind of a Nietzsche philosophy."

"You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can't do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner."

"Cop: You were speeding. Me: Objection your honor. Cop: I'm not a judge. Me: Permission to approach the bench. Cop: What? Me: Sustained."

"What's the difference between a policeman's baton and a magician's wand? One is used for cunning stunts and the other is used for stunning cunts."

"Did you hear about the origami master who lost his job? His office went paperless."

"The Hurricane came through here like a tornado -Lady on the News just now I don't want to live on this planet anymore"