31982

Joke of the Day

"In an interview: ""How would your friends describe you?"" Answer: ""perfect......"" (wait 5 seconds.) ""this fucking question again! I don't have any god damn friends!"" I'll show myself out"

"A friend asked me ""As a young boy, was your mother very strict?"" I said ""Let's get one thing straight, my mother was *never* a young boy."""

"There was a fire at the Yankee Candle store. 8 killed. 19 injured. 1200 soothed."

"Never go to target in a red shirt. I was holding my kid and someone asked for help. Like yea just let me finish stocking the toddlers first."

"ignorance or apathy? I dont know and I dont care"

"So I saw a truck called 'The Morse Deliverers' reversing yesterday, For some reason it just kept on saying 'S'"

"What did the three holes in the ground say? Well, well, well My grandpa's favorite joke. Took me five years to get it."

"Someone gave Chuck Norris the finger. He still has it."

"I have a joke Susan Boyle"

"Puns about cow sounds are the lowest form of humor."