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Joke of the Day

"The moral of Snow White is if a woman poisons you because you're prettier than her, find some men to chase her off a cliff while you sleep."

"Leather's the coolest way to let me know you're a bad ass AND that you don't give a fuck about cows."

"My cardboard girlfriend fell apart when I came all over her. I don't think she was cut out for that kind of thing."

"We need to start investing more in solar energy But it's not just going to happen overnight"

"North Korean Joke Poop is like a North Korean rocket: it's produced by an ass and splashes into the water."

"I like my women how I like my coffee... In a Styrofoam cup"

"What do you get when you ask for a Roman pinch hitter? An Italian sub!"

"Me: let's go this way. Shopping cart: no."

"Apparently for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents. That's not fair. Why is the man only left with 30? Credit to Bo Burnham."

"James Bond slept through an earthquake He was shaken, not stirred."