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Joke of the Day

"So my neighbor knocks on my door. So my neighbor knocks on my door at 2:30am last night. 2:30AM!!! Can you believe it?!!? Lucky for him, I was up playing my drums."

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"Who brew in the jewish house down the street? Hebrew."
"Ex: Holy skinny jeans! Me: They are new. Like them? Ex: Sure... Me: What? Ex: Should a woman your age wear those? Divorce Reason 509"
"I kept hitting my fingers while trying to nail a sign to my wall... So I said, ""Screw it!"""
"What did one atom say to the other? ""I lost an electron..."" The other atom asks ""Are you sure?"" First atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""
"""Wow there are a lot of non-brown people in Gaza."" - anyone tuning into Ferguson coverage late"
"My new thesaurus just came in Not only is it terrible but it's also terrible"
"Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female... The female egg says ""Oh my, look, I've got a crack"" ""No good telling me"" replies the male egg, ""I'm not even hard yet"""
"Ghost joke joke booooobies"
"Walking around naked is a great motivator to get back to the gym"
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