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Joke of the Day

"You want to know what's the most unrealistic thing from Batman V superman? (not a spoiler) A democratic senator from Kentucky."

"Two toasters are sitting on a counter. One toaster turns to the other and says, ""Do you sometimes feel empty?"" To which the other toaster replies, ""OH MY GOD! A talking toaster!"""

"If your clock strikes 13, what time is it? time to fix your clock."

"Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual."

"What did one hash brownie say to the other? We're so baked. What did the stoner say to his friend? I'm so high,I can hear the brownies talking to each other."

"Why do virgins never stand still? They are used to being chaste."

"How do you get ""Dick"" from ""Richard""? You ask him nicely"

"New research suggests that humans are double-minded... No they're not!"

"I lost 150 pounds, here's my story. Some knobhead stole my wallet."

"Q: How do you make five pounds of fat look good? A: Put a nipple on it."