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Joke of the Day

"*jerks off to a picture of a good personality*"

"Hitler decides to hire a weather forecaster [Hitler] what's the weather looking like today? [Forecaster] Hail, Hitler!"

"My cat rolled on my weed tray and now half my weed is stuck in her fur......Do I smoke my cat?"

"How cute does one have to be to make sparks fly? Electro cute"

"Do you think you'd make a good sniper? [ ] Yes [ ] No "

"""Like, 2?"" - someone in a decision-making position when asked how many outlets a hotel room should have"

"Killed my first 8 point buck of the season! But it was with the front end of my truck so fuck my life..."

"If ""Pretty Woman"" teaches us anything it's that prostitution is a lucrative, whimsical enterprise that every young woman should try."

"My husband said he needs to have sex and now he is mad at me. Apparently, asking 'with each other' was the wrong response."

"If you ever need 15 minutes of peace and quiet from texting, tell her to send a selfie."