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Joke of the Day

"Why cant we interpret what frogs are saying? They only speak in Morse-toad!"

"Don't you hate when someone has a great tweet idea, but they TOTALLY fuck up the wording, and it's you?"

"Bucks vs. Falcons REPORTER: Lovie, can you say something about your team's execution tonight? LOVIE SMITH: I think it would be a good idea!"

"My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing ""Yeah, shake that shit..."""

"Speed 3: Waitress has to keep talking about the day's specials or the entire restaurant explodes."

"What's the difference between Jews and Harry Potter? Harry Potter escaped the chamber"

"Thanks autocorrect. I wanted her to know that I shaved my duck."

"Whenever I conduct a job interview I ask the applicant to name their favorite Muppet, and no matter the answer I scowl and shake my head."

"If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners."

"Which football team loves ice-cream? Aston Vanilla!"