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Joke of the Day

"What do Baptists and cats have in common? You know they're doing it, you just can't catch them at it."

"shave your dog in the winter so he stands out in the crowd. if you lose him u can easily describe him as the cold bald dog"

"In high school they called me donkey dick. I got that name because... it was short for Donald Keith Richards."

"Why is PBS asking me for money? If I had money I wouldn't need to pretend crow migration habits are good entertainment."

"incredibly rude how everyones out with their dogs rubbing in the fact they have a dog"

"If you took the tartness out of a lime and later put it back would the lime be retarted? Yes...yes it would..."

"Someone just suggested that I use Mapquest. I suggested that he use a rotary phone."

"Gatorade: ""We no longer see a role for Tiger in our marketing."" Under his breath: ""Because 'Is it in you?' sounds wrong now."""

"What did the Redditor say at his wedding? TIL death do us part."

"I saw a chameleon the other day ...Lazy Fucker"