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Joke of the Day

"The best thing about being deaf. The best thing about being deaf is that all genres of music sounds fantastic!"

"My sister said I'm being immature. I guess she isn't getting her nose back"

"They say to never eat your own culinary creations. But I can't help myself, it takes 9 months to make my famous Baby Back Ribs."

"Hey guys where do Chemists come from? ... From the *Stork*iometry. I'll see myself out now."

"Motels may wanna take down that ""Color TV"" sign. We know."

"*job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out"

"Singing ""cha cha cha"" during the pauses in 'Happy Birthday' is one of the most fun ways to momentarily forget we're all dying."

"That awkward moment when I'm really drunk and you're still ugly."

"What did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck-up cunts."

"I hear they finally plugged Bristol Palin. Oh, the other BP. Ok, I'll shut up now."