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Joke of the Day
"You stop bad music with a tuning fork. How do you stop bad singing? A pitchfork"
Next Joke
"My mother retired and moved into a CVS."
"""Sushi"" is Japanese for ""take a picture of this, white girls."""
"It's ok Apple users, I just woke up and found a surprise Nickelback album on my BlackBerry."
"Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?"
"I'm afraid that my best friend is developing an addiction to brake fluid. I've called him out on it, but he says he can stop anytime."
"Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity."
"Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning."
"What would a character from the Star Wars universe shout before a suicide bombing? ADMIRAL ACKBAR!"
"If you ask me where your glasses are, and they're on your head, I will help you look for them forever."