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Joke of the Day

"I like my beers like I like my lumber; 2 by 4:00"

"The two most valuable lessons I've learned in life: 1) never reveal everything you know."

"Go home North Korea, you're drunk."

"The town council of Blarney, Ireland held a contest for a new tourism slogan... The winner was ""Pog mo Stone."""

"Drinking game. Make the drunkest person in the room call in a Chinese food order. Every time they have to repeat themselves, take a shot."

"Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth? Because they philos all the time!"

"Q: What does an attorney wear to work? A: A law suit."

"Why don't Jehovah's witnesses celebrate Halloween? They don't appreciate strangers coming up to their door."

"A man says, "" It's raining cats and dogs!"" The Chinese man comes out of his house with his chopsticks immediately..."

"I took a girl back to my flat. ""You haven't removed many bras have you?"" she sighed. ""What gave it away?"" ""The scissors, mainly."""